Imagination, or lack thereof

He lacked the imagination to know he had none. He was content with his 401(k), his moderately successful job, the cornucopia of televised sports on the weekends (both professional and college) , and his Kia Optima Hybrid. He recycled, paid his taxes on time, drank beer in moderation, and collected X-Men memorabilia as an investment. He tipped well, watched the neighbors’ dog when they went away on vacation, and bought lottery tickets every other week. He bought his clothes online (mostly Eddie Bauer and J. Crew), chewed Eclipse spearmint gum, and read The Wall Street Journal. He watched his cholesterol, stayed away from gluten, and was a member of the local fitness center. He voted Republican, watched Scoobie-Doo with his son on the Cartoon Network and was disappointed that “Breaking Bad” wasn’t about billiards.

He didn’t suspect a thing when his wife shot and killed him in the Wal-Mart parking lot three days before his fortieth birthday.

27 responses to “Imagination, or lack thereof”

  1. VictoryInTrouble says:

    Holy hell! I didn’t suspect a thing either! This like lulls you into thinking nice thoughts… oh, Xmen? I like X-men. Oh, he watches his neighbor’s dog? That’s so nice. Mmm, spearmint gum…and then Bam- he’s dead in a parking lot! Ha ha, you are the king of twists!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Asariels Muse says:

    Makes one wonder what else he did

    Liked by 1 person

  3. augustmacgregor says:

    Wow — I didn’t see that ending coming!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. smbaird says:

    Sometimes ordinary is anything but. 🙂

    Like

  5. Felicity says:

    Reblogged this on The Dark Night Chronicles and commented:
    Love this!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ldsrr91 says:

    Nice piece, enjoyed it. Short, concise and to the point.

    DS

    Like

  7. longchaps2 says:

    It had to be the spearmint gum. Everybody knows winterfresh is the correct choice. He had it coming.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. SexwAnnie says:

    Secret sex life? Maybe he’s not the man everyone thinks he is?
    More please!

    Liked by 1 person

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