March 18, 1978
The thing about growing older is that you become more conscious of the flaws. The facades look good in the shade, when the light is low and the shadows blend together, but each step forward is a step into a clearer light. You start to see the shoddy workmanship, the exposed beams, the rough woodwork. What you thought was a stone pillar is only plaster and peeling paint. And you curse yourself for your blindness, and try to fool yourself that what you see is wrong, because it can’t be, can’t be. The bedrock is really mud and you’ve been walking on it this whole time without knowing the difference.