My living thoughts of you
still follow me through the bramble
of crumpled bits of paper
where all the words
I write to explain you to me
falter in mid-stroke.
I cannot breathe
in the dust
of yesterday,
where you still live,
where I still pay rent.
There is a mean toll
for crossing that border
and re-walking all those miles,
climbing over the rubble,
pissing on all those tracks,
spitting out all that brine,
but that’s how it was,
that’s how it was
running away from your home
and wrapping my ass in
the given-up geometry of a
1967 lawn chair outside one
fleabag or another,
and I’m down
to the minimum dietary requirement
of crumbled corn chips and
leftover beer
discovered like a treasure
on top of the toilet tank
beside the drunken sketch of Angry Yahweh,
and that last viable cigarette butt
beside the fresh hole in the mattress
no I cannot breathe any more.
I trudge back to you every night,
my bruised eyes and
gravel-bitten feet kick up
dark puddles, dripping what’s left
of me onto crumpled bits of paper
and all my living thoughts of you
run on ahead and wait
for me to catch up.
Another evocative word painting Steven.
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Thank you, Aaron, and thanks again for all your generous support.
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So visual. A soul bleeds with pain.
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Thank you so much, Mary. 🙂
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A movie in my mind was playing!! I could see it all
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Thank you so much. 🙂
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HO. LEE. COW. sweeeeeeet. so vivid and full of aching. Love it!
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Thank you. 🙂
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Still paying rent to yesterday — that was spot on.
Loved the poem. No way I wouldn’t have.
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Thank you, I appreciate the read. 🙂
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And I always know, when I see you on my Reader, that I’m about to read something good.
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That’s kind of you to say. Thank you again. 🙂
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And you’re welcome again!
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Raw and stark imagery, Stephen. Amazing writing.
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Thank you, Diana. I hope you’re doing well, not too run-down.
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Love the strong imagery tied with regret and loss. You found a raw nerve and tapped it until we too felt your pain, but even amidst this pain, there seems to be hope.
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Thank you, Jose. I appreciate the read and kind comment.
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Incredible. So much of this resonates with me.
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Thanks so much, I appreciate that. 🙂
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Gah, this is like a haunting piece of music!
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Thank you, I really appreciate the comparison. 🙂
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You are welcome! Very wrenching.
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You so beautifully captured the pain of loss. And so accurately, too!
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Thanks so much!
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Reblogged this on From 1 Blogger 2 Another.
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Damn
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Thanks, man.
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A stunning description of escaping the hopeless days by dreaming of the happier yesterdays. Marvelous descriptions, Steven. —- Suzanne
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Thank you, Suzanne! 🙂
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Sad and awful, but beautifully written!
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Thanks so much, and for your visit. 🙂
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